Today we were walking fields for a road project north of Macomb. It started out as the typical, dewy morning (which means after a minute your pants and shoes are wringing wet), but around 10:00 we came across a small corn field that was in the project area. So we start out walking 3 meters apart in 6' tall corn (OK, so I'm mostly walking under the corn!) and immediately start finding chert that has been used in tool making. Big pieces, little pieces, pieces that were partially shaped in order to transport them to somewhere else to finish the projectile point or knife. The ENTIRE 200m X150m field is full of this stuff. So much so that in the 60m we walked into the field from the edge of the road, we were literally on our hands and knees picking stuff up there was so much. Ten 16lb bags full, and that was only about 40% of the whole field, all of which had been worked by human hands sometime long before Europeans got there.

We knew that there we limestone outcroppings along this creek farther south (chert is the hard, brittle stuff found in limestone), so we went into the woods next to the field to find the creek. What we found was amazing. There was the creek (fairly wide at this point because it is actually the confluence of two creeks) and a little water fall flowing at the bottom of the ravine, probably 50m from the site we'd just found. Came up to the waterfall and the water was ice cold. Spring water. We believe springs were sacred to the aboriginal people of the area, because we often find cool stuff associated with them. We followed the water up the the mouth of the spring and it was just beautiful. The water was coming out from under a large limestone outcropping and tumbling over rocks all on its way to the creek. Finding the large site and then the beautiful spring what archaeology is all about.

It was one of the coolest moments I've ever had on my job. It was spiritual.

For some reason these things were very important to me this weekend. I skipped out on going to see a dear friend in Springfield because getting my house in order was so important. I'm sure there is some psychological reason for the need for control when your life seems out of order. Or maybe I was so freaking tired of everything being messy. Maybe they are the same thing.

I know the house is getting to be the way I want it, and that is bringing balance and harmony to my soul today.

I did very little to celebrate the 4th. I caught a couple of fireworks over the trees in the back yard when I took the dogs out. They were not too happy, but spent most of the evening inside next to me, so it was OK. I did listen to NPR's reading of the Declaration of Independence. I wish someone would to that with the Constitution. Way too many folks blather about what the "Founding Fathers" said when they have no clue.

I did clean the house. At least most of it. I still need to tackle Sean's room, but that's another weekend project. I cleaned the downstairs, vacuumed, steam-cleaned carpets and dusted. I was watching "Clean House: Messiest Houses" on the Fine Living Channel. It was great motivation. My house, even on its worst days, never looked liked these people's places.

Today I take on the yard and move some stuff around in the dining room.

eat dinner (done)
take the dog for a walk (done)
do laundry (done)
sign the paperwork for legal separation (done)
come home and cry (done, and done)

Second day all by myself. So far, so good. I can't muster up the ambition to clean the house, but I have at least cooked for myself the past two nights. Better than nothing.

Mom stopped by at work today and spent 3 hours. When I'm in the east lab, I'm usually by myself, so I was glad for the company, even if she's crazy. I'm worried about her memory. She seems to be suffering from dementia and it's getting worse. She has never been able to critically look at her actions and see how they affect others (don't I know!), and is genuinely hurt because she has managed to alienate so many of the people she really loves. I love her, but she makes me crazy. Her view of the world is so different from reality, it is hard to talk to her. I feel so sorry for her, when I'm not ready to kill her!

I need to mow the lawn, finish the dishes and generally pick up, but I just can't find energy. I wish I could just twitch my nose and have it all happen for me.

PS. I mowed the front and side yards and took the dog for a walk, so I did do something tonight.

Spent the weekend with my brother Paul's kids. Friday we went to see "Transformers 2" at the new movie multiplex in town. It was a fun movie, but the 4-year old had to pee 7 times! I forgot how challenging it was to take a small kid to the movies!

Saturday, Bo came up for Sean's concert at Western. They did a really good job. Then we packed Sean for Vegas and went to lunch. I think Sean had a really good time with his dad.

The kids were back last night and Sean did an excellent job of keeping the older two entertained. I watched Sponge Bob with Bryson. That was entertaining.

Today, Sean and I slept in late, then did some last minute packing before Bo picked him up for the airport. I hope he has a great time. I know he's nervous about flying by himself, but he deserves to have some real fun this summer. Poor kid has been through so much heartache brought on by some one else's actions. I just want him to play for a while.

I'm settling into single life. I don't particularly like it, but I don't really have much choice. This will be the longest time I've ever lived by myself in my life. I guess we all need to grow up someday. I'm still angry and hurt. Don't know if that will ever go away. Sometimes I think that is what is keeping me strong.

I have some new ideas for the dining room. I'm getting a smaller table with red upholstered chairs. I'm trading in the old, huge dining set for it. I also plan on replacing aztecknight's mother's buffet with a really cute cupboard from the basement that I've been dying to do something with for years now. The final result will be a sort of mid century farm house look with red gingham curtains. I think it will be cute.

I bought a window air conditioner for the upstairs today. I think, since it is an "energy-star" it will actually be cheaper to run than all of the fans I have going trying to get cool air up there. I'm really tired of being hot while trying to sleep. I HATE hot, especially at night.

I'm waiting for Jimmy John's for supper. They usually deliver within 15 minutes of ordering on-line. It rocks.

every thing is different.

I don't like it.

I'm not sure I will ever be able to forgive.

Sean and I now have a much more manageable tent for Civil War camping. I ordered a small trooper tent (A frame 6x8x9') and it fits in my Mazda. We no longer have to deal with the huge medieval hotel room and the 10 year-old minivan.

The Jacksonville reenactment starts today. We are heading down after work. I don't plan on falling off a horse, mostly because I don't plan on getting up on one. I do plan on cooking and sewing. I've got my cast iron and period cooking gear all ready to go. I'm also taking stuff from the garden. Should be a good time.

Sean has choir camp on Sunday afternoon, so we are leaving in the morning after breakfast to get back and ready for that. Fortunately, J'ville is only a little over an hour away.

It should be a fun weekend with some very good friends.

another list to get finished. I managed to get 7 out of 11 things accomplished tonight. I still have a few things I want to get done before this weekend. We'll see how it goes. I'm sleeping better, thanks to new meds. I'm very much enjoying zix123. He's such a wonderful son adn great company. He's really stepping up to the plate. I'm very grateful for him. He makes it all worth it.

Bills, lawnmowers and creepy guys.

It got better. Tabbouleh is really great comfort food.

OK, it's not really new, but it is cleaned out, with all of Bo's clothes gone and the furniture rearrainged.

Dawn came over this weekend, and besides having a wonderful time last night at the wine tasting, she helped schlep clothes and bags out of the closet and dressers. All of the stuff I can't wear anymore is going to the Salvation Army tomorrow. Everything I can wear is hung up or put away.

A few steps at a time.

Dinner made: left-over grilled free range chicken legs, home grown carrots, onions, herbs and noodles I picked up at Farmer's Market. Easy & healthy Chicken and Noodles - yum

Part of the van unpacked from this weekend (I can't imagine why I didn't start this sooner!)

Dishes and laundry started (after Sean put the clean dishes away).

Tabouleh started for lunch tomorrow.

Part of the garden weeded.

Living room picked up (Sean is supposed to vaccuum later tonight)

I'm trying to keep on top of things. Sean really has been a help. I'm so proud of him.

is about the best I can do. Last night and this morning were bad. Tonight is pretty good.

1) for not seeing this coming and being completely blindsided

2)for trusting a man

While the boys were up north fighting for Roses, I managed to keep busy. Yesterday, I went to Farmer's Market and got strawberries, cucumbers and potatoes. Then went on a search for mint. Earlier in the season, it was one of the herbs that was for sale everywhere. I couldn't find oregano or thyme, but everyone had mint. I say had. Apparently everyone in Macomb bought mint plants this spring, because I went to four different places before finding any and then it was "chocolate" mint. I don't normally care about mint because I'm not very fond of it (which is why I didn't get any earlier), but I found that it is essential in tabbouleh. The mint was planted in a container in the garden and the tabbouleh was made for dinner (yummy). Several more flowers that I managed to come across on the mint search were also planted and dishes were done.

In the afternoon, I thought I'd take my camera to Dickson Mounds Museum and get some pictures of the newly established wetlands near it. The boy had pilfered the batteries, so I stopped and got some more on the way out of town. When I got there I discovered the boy had also pilfered the memory card as well. After grumping a bit at this, I ended up having a great time and the wetlands are stunning even if I couldn't get pictures.

I came home and Dad stopped by. I gave him a bunch of lettuce and showed him the gardens and flowers. We didn't talk about Mom, but it was great to see him. I'm still worried about him.

Then the dogs and I and spent the night watching a bad movie (Tristan and Isolde - at least James Franco is hot) then bad TV.

Today, I got up, took the dogs to the dog park and planted my second round of onions. Then I remembered that the tent needs to be fixed before next weekend's Civ War event in Pittsfield. So I went to the lumber store for a pressure treated 2x4. Wow, lumber is cheap right now. Then off to Farm King for leather stripping, chain to fix the porch swing and filling to propane tank. Now the swing is fixed, I'm cooking with gas and enjoying my patio while waiting for the boys to get home.

Dear manufacturer,

I am a woman, I have small hands, I like "woman" sized tools and garden items, I also wish to help cure breast cancer. However, deos that mean everything has to be PINK!?!?!?! I DESPISE THE COLOR PINK!!! If I do find something that's made for smaller hands that is not pink, it PASTEL!! I'm not that fond of pastels, either.

Couldn't we have some brown, green, red, or blue colored items? Do they all have to be pink if part of the money goes to help breast cancer? While I like to give to a good cause, I'm not buying those items because of the color. If something is made for women does it HAVE to look all fru-fru and girly? Can't smaller made items just look like their big "brothers?" Does merchandising have to be so patronizing and sexist?

Thank you,

Jennifer "not a girly-girl" Edwards-Ring

I talked to Dad on Tuesday. He seemed pretty upbeat and we didn't mention the weekend. I think they were thinking about going camping in Navoo this weekend. I hope it works out for them.

The garden is going great guns. I am trying to keep up with the weeds, but there always seem to more everyday. I'm eating spinach almost daily and have given much of my lettuce away because I just can't keep up with it. Everything is up but the okra. I'm hoping it comes up this weekend cause it's supposed to be warm.

The boys are gone tomorrow and Sunday. Camille will be happy, no one to kick her out of bed in the middle of the night! I'm not sure what I am going to do, maybe I'll go out and take pictures. We are trying to keep on a fairly tight budget, so picture taking should be cheap.

At least I get to sleep in the morning.

He left home last night after a big blow up with my psycho mom. No one knows where he is and he didn't take his phone. I'm so worried I'm sick.

I hate her so much.

8:45pm - Dad is home, Thank God. He didn't know Mom had told us that he was gone and didn't realize we were worried. Bo went out there and talked to them. He's so wonderful.

I still hate her so much.

Finally planted the okra today. It was the last thing to go in. I'm still waiting for the carrots and beets to come up. I had to replant them this past week. I had planted last years seeds and they never germinated, so I went out and got new seed. I'm hoping they will be up in a few days. My first batch of radishes are gone. They were yummy. My lettuce is exploding. I'm going to make a big salad to take up to the in-laws this afternoon. The weather is just beautiful!